Here we go again...

Now I'm back home, and I feel that the year really started....
A lot of anxieties keep troubling me, many of then I have NO control over!! So I'm learning to let it go and play along...
Now, the goals for this year... they are quite simple actually, the problem is, not all of them depend on me only, but I have to try...
First of all, I want a job... a day job...
One thing I didn't refer to on my last post is about my career... That`s because it is not something new for me. I am a actress, to my bones, my heart and soul... this is what completes me, fills me, overflows me...
And to became a working actress demands quite some money and hard work. Hard work is not the problem for me, but I need to make money, so I need a day job. And this is the main goal for now. After that is invest the money in my future. My future as a actress mainly, but I also plan on validating my Journalism bachelor degree here in US, and guess what, it demands money too!! LOL...
Now I am in the worst part, waiting... waiting for the american document that allows me to work here, only after having it in my hands I can apply for anything!!! This is the EAD... I might write another post about this latter if there are ppl interested in it.
Now, my second goal depends on me: ME FIT!!! YES!!! I'll keep up my 6 pack project and with this many others fitness program. Don't worry, this is MY project, I don't demand any other ppl do join, I think it is a personal choice that comes in the right time.
Other goal: BE MORE SOCIAL!! This is part of really building my life here. One curious thing about it: I think American people are a LOT more hard to became friends with!! God gave me a few amazing surprises during the period I am here, but in general, OMG, it is you american a really hard nuts to crack!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Ok, the fact that now I am a single mom with VERY LITTLE time for myself gets in the way too... But, no problem, I'll keep trying!! :-)

See I think this is it!!! There are not crazy impossible goals...


Thank you so much who is reading this... I'd love to hear your opinions, suggestions, or just a Hi here too!!
I'm incredible happy to be back on writing... besides of being an actress I am also a journalist and LOVE to write... still working on my grammar skills in English, but I decided to start doing the blog in English exactly because of it...
My new philosophy of live is to take risks...
WAKE UP AND KICK ASS EVERY SINGLE DAY...

P.S.: Still looking for someone that can handle my madness, a partner to kick ass every day... sometimes i really think I intimidate people... sounds so cocky, but this is the only explanation... hahahahahaha... Anyway, everything happens for a reason.

Come on 2016!! Let's do it together!!! <3
 

Farewell 2015 (version in English)

First of all... Excuse my English... I'm not a native speaker and my grammar it not great... I accept criticism... but, please be kind...

I start writing at 12/28/2015, thinking that one year ago I could never imagine that my life would be like it is now, not even crossed my mind that would have happened things that happened, I would have done things I did, it would have the wishes and goals that I have today ... Yes 1 year is a LONG time!!!

In 2015 things I thought were eternal were finished, with them much of me also ended; dreams, plans, everything was gone... I can certainly say that 80% of me died, the 20% that remained were living because of my daughter and that 20% more her strength made me strong to reinvent myself, or at least start to.

In 2015 I lost my heart, but my soul was MINE again ... in a very strange way I had to lose my shaft, my base, my reason, I had to get to the edge of the abyss and throw myself on it, and deep down I rediscovered myself !!!That's when I realized I had thrown me out for too long, for a long time.

Then put it all together, the 20% that were left, the remains of what I had found and started this journey to reinvent myself, to move ALWAYS forward with a smile on my face, I remembered the value of my joy and try keep it alive as much as possible, it is not mask, is not falsehood, is because I remembered that life becomes lighter when we carry with a smile.

12/29/2015 - Facebook memories today reminded me of a quote from Jim Rohn which I love, and fits very well that my new phase: "It is not what happens that determines the major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. It is what you's about what happens that counts."

So, let’s go ahead and move forward ...

So I'm in a new phase, to rediscover myself, reinvent myself in every way, shape and manner of my life. In this path and process emerged people who helped and still do help me to it. This help comes in many and various ways, either because they are very different from me and help to exercise my tolerance and understanding of feelings and different situations or for actually help me with experiences, stories and support, both practical and emotional.
And there are those that inspire ... ahhhhh the inspiring ... Not much time is required, or a lot of effort to make me feel inspired, so often the inspiration comes a few hours, sometimes only a conversation, a story. .. And my soul is filled, fills me, overflows, leaving me with a feeling of fullness that is priceless !!
12/30/15 - It is ending people!!!

And today I want to write about what awaits me !!

If there is something I learned from 2015 is not to rely on anything, or better, count on EVERYTHING!!

The only thing I can know is what I want ... So here we go:

About this new project ... Fitness is not obsession or anything, in fact is the execution of a wish I ever had, and it is rather a therapy. With all the events and developments that my life had I have VERY LITTLE control over what happens in it, but i can control my body, and this feeling is wonderful !!

About my future: Everyone starts somewhere, and restarting is the same thing... and that is the idea... no, I will not detail because not even I know what will happen, the possibilities that arise... One thing is fact: I've never been afraid of work, was never accommodated, never ran away from the fight, then and now will be no different....

And the question that many are doing, and what about the love life… what about your heart ... aawwnnn this darn heart ... I honestly thought it was dead, now I'm not so sure ... Before the year end, “almost at 45 the second time” (Brazilian expression), a surprise happened... well, not everything happens in the way we want, desire or hope... I am new to this “single career” (it's actually the first time I am single in my life, since she was 16 !!) We go through a lot of bumps and heart breaking, the key is move forward… and being honest with my feelings... We'll see what happens, unhurried ...

Fact is my relationship status will be closed for quite a while.
If you ask me now what (or who) I want on THIS aspect of my life, my answer is: Someone to share my joys, my laughter, who can handle my madness, my excitement sometimes unrestrained, my teenage desire to discover the world, have new experiences, experience all the craze, to see beauty in everything, to stop at the corner to take pictures of leafless trees, someone to share popcorn at the movie, to explain me a new sport, somebody that want to hear me talking about The Walking Dead, someone to discuss if Jon Snow is dead or not ...

My dramas and problems I keep for myself, I can solve these on my own... I just want someone to hold me without asking me what happened, kiss me and take me from this world, somebody that wants me, desires me deeply, who would walk beside me proudly... No charges, no labels, no pressure, just feelings...

Vai pra luz 2015!!!!

Começo escrevendo esse texto dia 28/12/2015, pensando que a 1 ano atras não imaginava que a minha vida estaria como está agora, nem passava pela minha cabeça que teria acontecido as coisas que aconteceram, que eu teria feito as coisas que fiz, que teria as vontades e objetivos que hoje tenho... Sim 1 ano é MUITA coisa!!!

Em 2015 coisas que eu acreditava serem eternas se acabaram, com elas boa parte de mim também acabou, sonhos, planos, tudo se foi... Posso com certeza afirmar que 80% de mim morreu, os 20% que sobraram vivos foram sim por causa da minha filha e esses 20% mais a força dela me fizeram ter força para me reinventar, na verdade começar...

Em 2015 eu perdí meu coração, mas minha alma voltou a ser MINHA... de uma maneira muito estranha eu precisei perder meu eixo, minha base, minha razão, precisei chegar a beira do abismo e me atirar nele e lá no fundo me reencontrei!!! Então eu percebí que eu havia me jogado fora por muito tempo, a muito tempo.
Então juntei tudo, os 20% que haviam sobrado, os restos que eu havia encontrado e inicio essa jornada de me reinventar, de seguir em frente SEMPRE com um sorriso no rosto, lembrei o valor da minha alegria e a mantenho o tanto quanto possível perto de mim, não é mascara, não é falsidade, é por que eu me lembrei que a vida se torna mais leve quando levamos com um sorriso...
29/12/2015 -  Facebook e suas lembranças, hoje me lembrou de uma citação do Jim Rohn que eu adoro, e se enquadra super bem nessa minha nova etapa : "It is not what happens that determines the major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. It is what you do about what happens that counts. "
Então, em frente e avante... 

Estou então, em uma nova fase, de me redescobrir, me reinventar em todos os aspectos, formas e maneira da minha vida, nesse caminho e processo surgiram pessoas que me ajudaram e me ajudam a isso. Essa ajuda vem de várias e diversas maneiras, sejam por serem muito diferentes de mim e me ajudarem a exercitar a minha tolerância e entendimento a sentimentos e situações diferentes, seja para realmente me ajudar, com experiências, historias e apoio, tanto prático quanto emocional. E existe aquelas que inspiram... ahhhhh as que inspiram... Não é necessário muito tempo, nem muito esforço pra que eu me sinta inspirada, tantas vezes essa inspiração vem de poucas horas, ás vezes de apenas uma conversa, uma historia... E minha alma se enche, me recheiae transborda, me deixando com sentimento de plenitude que não tem preço!!
30/12/15 - Tá acabando genteeee!!!
E hoje eu quero escrever sobre o que me espera!!
Se há algo que aprendí com 2015 é a não contar com nada, ou melhor, contar com TUDO...
A única coisa que eu posso saber é o que eu desejo... Então vamos lá:
Sobre esse novo projeto Fitness... não é obsessão nem nada, na verdade é a concretização de uma vontade que eu sempre tive, e é sim uma terapia. Com todos os eventos e desdobramentos que minha vida teve eu não tenho MUITO controle pleno sobre o que acontece nela, mas sobre o meu corpo eu tenho, e essa sensação é maravilhosa!!
Sobre meu futuro: Todo mundo começa de algum lugar, e recomeçar é a mesma coisa... e é essa a ideia... não, eu não vou detalhar por que nem eu sem mesmo o que acontecerá, as possibilidades que surgirão, então... Uma coisa é fato: Eu nunca tive medo de trabalho, nunca fui acomodada, nunca fugí da briga, então não será agora que me acovardarei....
E a pergunta que muitos estão fazendo, e o coração... ahhhh esse danado... EU honestamente achei que estava morto, hoje já não tenho tanta certeza... Antes do ano acabar, quase aos 45 do segundo tempo, uma surpresa aconteceu... nem tudo acontece como queremos, desejamos ou esperamos... Sou nova nessa carreira de solteira (na verdade é a primeira vez a fico solteira na minha vida, desde os 16 anos!!) A gente quebra a cara e o coração mesmo, o segredo é seguir em frente... Sendo honesta com meus sentimentos... Vamos ver o que acontece, sem pressa...
Fato é que meu estado civil está fechado para balanço por um bom tempo. Se me perguntarem agora o que eu quero nesse aspecto, minha resposta é: Alguém para dividir as minhas alegrias, meus risos, que saiba lidar com a minha loucura, com a minha animação muitas vezes incontida, minha vontade adolescente de descobrir o mundo, ter novas experiências, experimentar tudo, a mania de enxergar beleza em tudo, de parar na esquina para tirar foto das arvores desfolhadas, alguém para dividir a pipoca do cinema, para me explicar um novo esporte, que queira me ouvir falando de The Walking Dead, alguém para debater se o Jon Snow está morto ou não...
Meus dramas e problemas eu guardo pra mim, resolvo eu msm... quero apenas alguém que me abrace sem me perguntar o que aconteceu, q me beije e me leve desse mundo, que me deseje profundamente, que ande ao meu lado com orgulho... Sem cobranças, sem rotulos, sem pressão, apenas coração...
( Acabei de traduzir isso aqui... terminou tão bonito que eu vou publicar antes do que pretendia... Depois tem mais... talvez... ;-)

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